An Open Letter to Antoine Fuqua

15 Feb

Dear Mr. Fuqua,

I apologize for publishing this letter in a public forum, but despite numerous attempts over the weekend none of my voicemails have been returned.  First of all, if you are reading this allow me to say thank you for visiting our page.  Chris and I are always excited to find those associated with the industry that fuels our work pay attention to the voice of the consumer, even if it is mostly hate mail from Nicolas Cage.

Dear Chris, I hate your stinking guts. You make me vomit. You're scum between my toes! Love, Nicolas.

I can’t express to you how excited I was to hear that you will soon be directing a biopic on Tupac Shakur.  As I have previously expressed on this site, Tupac is my favorite musical artist, one I have followed since my childhood.  I cannot think of any other director I would prefer to bring his life story to the big screen for this generation of movie goers.  As I understand it, Mr. Fuqua, the role of Tupac Shakur has yet to be cast and with shooting to begin in April/May I’m sure you are actively pursuing a suitable actor for that role.  I would like to officially enter myself for consideration.

To ensure that my candidacy for the role is taken seriously, allow me to tell you a little bit about myself.  I am a 25 year old white male who currently lives in Virginia Beach, Va.  I am 5’10” tall and weigh approximately 165 lbs.  While I have no cinematic film experience, I once played Martin Vanderhof in a high school adaptation of “You Can’t Take it With You”.  I apologize for not including a headshot with this letter but you know how it is for bloggers these days, if the world knew what I looked like it’d only be a matter of time before I was assaulted by Will.I.Am.

I can't believe Will.I.Am did that to his hair...

Now I know what you’re thinking after reading that description, 25 is the perfect age for the role.  I am aware that Tupac was tragically gunned down at the age of 25, and as your film will primarily focus on the last days of his life, I fit the age demographic perfectly.  However, that is not the only attribute that should be acknowledged when considering me for this role.  I have compiled a short list of things that you may want to take into account.

Height and Weight

As I said previously, I am currently 5’10” tall and approximately 165 lbs.  At the time of Tupac’s arrest for sexual assault he was listed as 5’11” but in actually he was closer to 5’9” -5’10” tall.  Also, chronicled in the popular Tupac song “Str8 Ballin” is the lyric:

“And they say how do you survive weighin’ 165”

This of course is referring to the weight of the late rapper, which coincidentally is identical to my own.

 

Life Experiences

While I cannot argue that my life experiences were identical to the rappers, as an actor I am able to use my own life experiences to identify with some of the hardships he went through.  For example, Tupac’s mother was a high ranking Black Panther who was arrested and imprisoned while she was pregnant with him.  She stood trial without representation and pleaded her own case.  She was subsequently found not guilty and released.  My mother experienced a similar incident, one that shaped both my perception of her and my own life in the process.  She was kicked out of the PTA when I was in second grade for laughing at a student during a spelling bee.  She was found to be in violation of no rules or regulations after petitioning the board, as apparently it is not inappropriate to laugh at a child during a PTA event if you gave birth to said individual.

That's not fair! Rizzuto's not a word! He's a baseball player!

In 1994, Tupac was shot five times coming out of an elevator at Time Square’s Quad Studios in New York City.  Recently, I decided to independently re-enact the incident with my fifteen year old brother (I take my method acting very seriously).  As I was taking the trash out during a visit to his house, my brother unexpectedly shot me five times with his unregistered Crosman C11 BB Gun.  There has been a long standing beef between us ever since, chronicled through various diss records.

Karl Kani jeans sold seperately

 

Influences and Legal Controversy

While I have never been incarcerated, had any wrongful death lawsuits brought against me, or been the center of congressional hearings; I, like Tupac, have been the center of some legal controversy.  In 2002 I took a high school literature class entitled “Great Works”.  During the class, we were required to read and write an analysis on Niccolò Machiavelli‘s “The Prince”.  Up until this point in the class, all of my previous papers had been returned with perfect marks.  Coming under fire from my classmates that my teacher showed me favoritism because she was a fan of my slam poetry program on the morning announcements, I decided to submit this paper under the alias Lesane Parish Crooks.  Although the paper received an “A”, I was given a failing grade because my teacher had no proof that I had written the paper.  When given the opportunity to resubmit the paper, I submitted the same paper under my own name assuming she’d then realize I was the original author.  Instead I was found guilty of plagiarizing Lesane Parish Crooks.  I was sentenced to two weeks detention for the infraction where I wrote a “coming of age” screenplay.

Physical Appearance

Even though I’m the same height and weight as the late rapper, I understand that my physical appearance may not be identical.  It has taken years of counseling but I do realize that I am white, something that may present a challenge when playing this role.  However, as any film enthusiast knows, Kirk Lazarus received his unprecedented sixth Academy Award for playing Sergeant Lincoln Osiris in Tropic Blunder: The True Story Behind The Making Of The Most Expensive Fake True War Movie Ever.  I have attempted to contact Kirk about the skin pigmentation procedure he underwent for that film but have yet to hear back from his people.  I’m sure that casting me in the role as Tupac would garner the same attention from the Academy that Kirk received. 

I don't read the script, the script reads me

 

Mr. Fuqua, I hope that after reading this letter you can agree that there is no better individual for the role of Tupac Shakur in your upcoming film than myself.  If my argument has not completely convinced you, I would be more than happy to accompany you to South America where we can ask Tupac in person.

 Sincerely,

Brian “Pac” Sostak

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