**Trailer Time** (Special Edition): “Battleship” and “New Year’s Eve”

28 Jul

This is a special edition of Trailer Time. I don’t mean the good kind of special. It’ s the window licking kind….


I’ve mentioned this film before, several months ago, and how terrible I thought the idea was. I know I’m not really supposed to lay judgement to the film itself without seeing it, and when I wrote about it before I was merely criticizing the idea. Now that the trailer is out, subtitled edition, I have a really really hard time imagining any way that this could be good. A movie based on a board game….ok Hollywood you could do worse than that, but basing it on something that makes absolutely no sense whatsoever….this could quite possibly be the worst idea I’ve seen in a while. Check it out:

This hits home for me for a couple of reasons.

1) I am a Surface Warfare Officer (SWO) in the United States Navy. There has not been a decent film portraying that side of the military in a very long time. I keep hoping that we get something that can make us look cool, but it is next to impossible. SWO is not an exciting life and making an accurate and exhilarating film about us is definitely a challenge, but the Aviators who at least have the movies Top Gun to claim, will never let us live this down.

2) We don’t even have Battleships anymore! This film would’ve made sense, and been more exciting if you had just set it in a time when there were Battleships and it was actually cool to be a SWO.

Okay, "cool" and "SWO" should never be used in the same sentence.

You could probably make a film that was much more like a real life version of the game if you set the film back during World War II or something. Then you could’ve brought a historical aspect into it as well and made it somewhat educational.

3) Aliens? …..Really? Aliens? Maybe this movie was written by two kids playing Battleship who had just chugged three Mountain Dews and were like, “You know what would be awesome? Some aliens? Go get a crayon and we can draw up a picture for my Dad, the Hollywood Producer. The geekdom website Topless Robot also had an interesting origin story for this film. You can check it out, here.

New Year’s Eve

Last year’s Valentine’s Day featured a star studded cast and led to many star-lacking reviews (14% on RT). Anyway, so what happens when your film didn’t do as well as expected? Why stuff more stars in the cast to the point where there will be no plot and only cameos of course! That’s what the new film New Year’s Eve seems to be all about. There isn’t much more to talk about except that at this point. I’m sure it will make back some money, since most of the actors in there seem to be fading in Hollywood and probably in need of a quick buck. Anyway, here is the trailer:


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