Why it Would Suck to Live in Smallville

Tonight marks the series finale of the longest running sci-fi program in television history, Smallville.  It’s been over ten seasons and 200 episodes but tonight fans finally get to see Clark don the red cape and seize his destiny.  Though the show is not without its flaws, it is on the CW, witnessing the fully imagined origin of The Man of Steel has been a fun and adventurous ride.  While the show has relocated to the city of Metropolis, the first 4+ seasons primarily took place Clark Kent’s home town of Smallville, Kansas.  One of the charms of Smallville is getting lost in the universe created on-screen and imagining existing within it.  Every boy grows up dreaming he were his favorite superhero, and Superman is mine, and I still can’t help but wonder what it would be like to live in Smallville.  However, recently I rationalized that hope and decided that it would actually totally suck.

#5: You’re not Superman

If anyone has ever told you how they wished they lived in the Smallville universe, what they probably really mean is “it would be cool to be Superman”.  However, in a town that was populated with 45,000 residents, odds of you winning the Superman lottery are pretty slim.  Living in a town whose primary exports are corn and meteor rock would pretty and not having some super powers like x-ray vision would pretty much suck…

Who needs laser vision, super speed, cooling breath, or super strength?

…But more on that later.

#4: You don’t have super powers

Okay, so you’re not Superman, but plenty of people in Smallville were “infected” by the meteor rock, resulting in them gaining a unique super power.  Especially in the earlier seasons of the show, many episodes featured a new character, often an antagonist, who was granted ability by their exposure to kryptonite.   Some of the infected citizens of Smallville include:

• Coach Arnold (started fire with his mind)
• Desiree Atkins (super-pheromones)
• Jake Pollen (breath underwater)
• Alicia Baker (teleportation)
• Ian Randall (multiplicity)

See, so you don’t have to be some alien from Krypton to have super powers in Smallville.  Unfortunately all of these “Super Freaks”, as they were affectionately known, had one thing in common; they were antagonists.  Aside from all of his abilities and his alien heritage, there was one more very important contribution to Clark becoming the Man of Steel – his adoptive parents.  They’ve actually covered this point extensively within many episodes, but in case you don’t watch the show (or have forgotten), let me remind you that it would take a lot of goodness and an incredibly strong will not to abuse your powers.  Most metahumans in the Smallville universe end up using their powers for selfish gain and end up either irreversibly damaging themselves or others to the point that Clark has to interfere and send them to the looney bin.  Hell, even Clark himself is at a constant struggle within not to abuse the variety of abilities that come along with his birthright. 

Pretty sure this isn't what Jor-El had in mind.

#3 You don’t know Clark Kent

Okay, so you’re not Clark Kent and being a “meteor freak” would only be cool until you got caught, but not everyone on Smallville has powers.  Plenty of primary characters on the show were normal human beings with no special ability what so ever:  Jonathan and Martha Kent, Lana Lang, Lois Lane, Chloe Sullivan, and Pete Ross.

Unless getting kidnapped and whining are super powers

You know who else in Smallville, Kansas is normal?  The 44,800 other people who aren’t infected and aren’t friends with (or related to) Clark.  Therefore, if you didn’t win the Superman lottery your odds of winning the Supermans’ BFF lottery are only slighty better.  Not that being Superman’s best friend is a job we’d want anyway.  All of the aforementioned characters are constantly getting themselves into some sort of trouble that requires Clark’s extraterrestrial abilities to resolve.  In season 1 alone, Lana Lang is kidnapped, has her identity stolen (literally), infected by meteor rock (multiple times), hit by an exploding gas pipeline, and gets trapped in a tornado.  Not to mention the love triangle between her, Clark, and Whitney taking their toll on her emotionally, because Clark continuously stands her up to save people (usually his other friends).

Seriously, what a jerk

Maybe Lana would have a little more patience if she knew why Clark was taking off all the time, but she didn’t.  None of Clark’s friends knew of his super abilities, because he and his parents knew the responsibility of bearing that secret.  They were right too.  Eventually each of Clark’s closest friends learned of his secret and none of them could handle it.  Pete tried to get Clark to help him with his problems a few times before having an emotional breakdown and moving away.  Lana tried dating Clark for a while before having multiple emotional breakdowns every episode and ultimately moving away.  Chloe joined forces to help Clark, and a wealthier yet less impressive hero in Oliver Queen before having an emotional breakdown and moving away.  Lois I won’t mention for S10 spoilers (but it has something to do with an emotional breakdown…).  Martha Kent had a midlife crisis (close to an emotional breakdown), became a U.S. Senator, married a washed up journalist, and moved away.  The only close friend or family member of Clark’s who didn’t have an emotional breakdown was his father, he just died instead.

#2 Your Job Sucks

Let’s recap.  You’re not Earth’s greatest protector, you don’t know him, and you don’t have any super human abilities (and if you do you’re in jail or a mental hospital).  Still, living in Smallville and a universe with superheroes and super villains is pretty cool; sure would make the news a lot more interesting.  It’s a shame you live in Smallville, a farming town.  Take a look at the ‘Welcome’ sign pre-meteor shower…

Yawn

I don’t know about you but I don’t want to be a farmer.  Early mornings, hard manual labor, and pedaling crops for money are all among the things I try to avoid when hitting the job market.  The show clearly depicted the hardships the Kent family went through to keep their farm profitable and capable of feeding their family, and they had a super powered son to do their chores. 

Working on a farm isn’t the only occupation available in Smallville, you could work for Luthercorp; because working the most evil father son duo on the planet is a much better alternative.  Maybe you could even start your own business, like the Talon.  You know – the old movie theater that Lana Lang’s Aunt owned, which she restored to a coffee shop and was eventually bought out by Luthercorp.

#1 Natural Disaster/Death

What if you hate your job now, or you’d actually enjoy farm labor or working for the most evil man on the planet?  That brings us back to living in a universe of superheroes, that’s still pretty cool.  Too bad you live in Smallville, Kansas where it’s a toss up between which is a more frequent meteorological event – tornados or meteor showers.  Not the meteor showers you stay up late to be disappointed by as a child by either…

More of a ‘both your parents got crushed by an enormous space rock’ kind of disappointed.

 

It’s a wonder how the population of this town grew from 25,000 to 45,000 since the first meteor shower with all of its citizens dying by some super powered “meteor freak” or some crazy alien-induced storm.  Now that I think about it, this does answer one lingering question I’ve had for a while…

Why build a second high school if it’s just going to get ripped to shreds

Matthew Weiner Clears the Air on “Mad Men” Deal with AMC and Becomes My Personal Hero

by Chris Petersen

Earlier this week, several sources reported that the fifth season of AMC’s award-winning, period drama Mad Men was delayed until March 2012 due to some disagreements in the negotiations of creator Matthew Weiner‘s contract. The rumor was that Weiner was being offered $30 million for two years, but that AMC had the following stipulations that did not suit Weiner:

– There would be more product placement in the show.

– Each episode would have to be cut by two minutes to allow for more commercials.

– Weiner had to cut up to six cast members over the next couple of seasons.

And we're guessing he wouldn't cut the women.

These statements were all true, but it was unclear whether or not Weiner had accepted these terms when the announcement that the 5th season finally got the green light.

Weiner finally spoke up to a couple of different sources about exactly what is going on with the show now. Deadline reported that Weiner had claimed to have walked away four or five times over the last couple of days because he was objecting to some of the terms. Weiner said, “It was never about the money. I wanted to do the show I wanted to do and that the audience has come to expect.”

So, Weiner’s artistic integrity managed to come to a compromise with AMC for two more seasons, as well as an additional seventh season that Lionsgate, the production company, offered him (which will be the last season). While he conceded that the show’s episodes will be cut from 47 to 45 minutes, the full “director’s cut” will be available eight days later on Video On Demand (which is how I usually watch it anyway), and on the DVDs. He also managed to talk AMC down from having him cut cast members, which I’m sure the actors were relieved to hear, and he no longer has to add more product placement in the show.

He told The Wrap that, “I would have walked away from the show if we didn’t reach the deal we did. I’m very happy with the way things are going to be.”

I am proud of Weiner, who consistently makes great, quality television, and holds true to the heart of the show while keeping his audience in mind. Props to you Matt! I can’t wait for Season 5!

Your bald head shines a bright light of artistic integrity for others to follow.

Mad Men Season 5 Delayed Until 2012

Negotiations for AMC’s Mad Men have pushed the release date for the highly anticipated 5th season until March, 2012. This is coming from Deadline, who reported that the final arrangements in show creator Matthew Weiner’s contract and an already full Fall show line up for AMC, caused the show to be delayed.

Weiner was set to make $30 million over the course of three years, which would make him the highest paid show runner. However, the negotiations hit some snags when AMC said that his contract would then force him to cut two main cast characters, cut two minutes off each episode and add more product placement. Weiner, was apparently not willing to budge about that, wanting to maintain the integrity of the characters, storyline and each episode. He probably also saw the irony that a show about an advertising agency would be plagued with product placement.

While the show has already been greenlit for production of the 5th season, there is no word yet as to whether Weiner conceded to the terms of the contract. I hope not, because I like the show the way it is and wouldn’t want it to become obvious about product placement to the point where it is distracting.

I'm looking at you "Dexter"

Also, that additional product placement would have to be tailored to the 1960’s which might prove tricky.

As for cutting two characters, that would be difficult right now, since most of the main characters have already survived one downsizing in the show and it would be hard to watch more of them leave. I can’t even imagine who they might be, but my guess would be that if it came down to it Lane Pryce (Jared Harris) and Ken Cosgrove (Aaron Stanton) would be the prime candidates to leave, even if it would painful to watch them go.

I am disappointed that AMC is being so stingy with their most prestigious show. They seem to be coddling  their new baby, The Walking Dead, even though it is much lighter fare. They could probably afford to cut at least four minutes off each episode because most of the time ther commercials end up being smarter and more entertaining. Whatever happens, one thing is for sure, I can’t wait for more Mad Men.

Will Ferrell Not Joining “The Office” Full Time

Several fans’ hopes were lit up when they saw Will Ferrell show up at the end of last week’s episode of The Office. To add to their excitement, Ferrell told US Magazine at the Comedy Central Awards on Saturday that things were “looking good” for him joining the show full time after Steve Carell‘s exit.

Sadly, that is not the case. Paul Lieberstein, the show’s producer, immediately came back to NYMAG and said, “Will was joking — but he commits to his jokes so fully that we’re hoping he’s with us long term, just as a bit that won’t end.”

He essentially just put the audience in a glass cage of emotion.

This is no surprise, since Will Ferrell’s cameo was announced back in January and was touted as a four episode arc. Just days before that, Greg Daniels, the show’s executive producer, had told Pittsburgh’s Post Gazette that Michael Scott‘s replacement would be someone who is a regular (i.e. Darryl, Dwight, Andy, Jim etc.). Plus, it would be really hard to imagine Ferrell sticking to a full time tv character.

No matter how much we would like to see that happen.

So, enjoy Ferrell on The Office while you can. He is next set to appear on the episode airing on Thursday April 14 on NBC.

Mitch Hurwitz’s Guide to Getting a Sitcom Cancelled

Arrested Development is arguably one of the best TV sitcoms of all time. Its unique characters and smart script, that many times rewarded faithful viewers by setting up jokes with punch lines several episodes later, set a standard for other shows to follow. The mystery has always been why it never garnered the viewership during its 3 season run (one season winning the Emmy for Best Comedy Series) to keep it alive. Mitch Hurwitz, the writer of the show, also had several other shows get cancelled after short runs on TV, the most recent being Running Wilde. He recently wrote an article for the UK Newspaper, The Guardian, entitled Guide to Getting a Sitcom Cancelled which satires his own success, or lack thereof:

Have a confusing title

Come up with an unwieldy title that perhaps comes from the realm of psychology, so that the title of your show is almost instantly forgettable. For example, if you were to call the show Welcome Matt, an audience could immediately understand the concept: this must be a character named Matt and he must either be a welcoming person or stepped on. If you call a show Arrested Development it’s confusing and sufficiently disorientating to guarantee that a wide audience never discovers the fruits of your labor.

Audiences love fast cars and exciting vehicles

So see if you can put in some heavy machinery like a stair-car, that isn’t easily associated with speed or sex appeal.

Try to do too much for a 20-minute programme

If in your particular medium an audience is used to a simple plotline or maybe one or two stories, see if you can get eight in there, and find a way that they somehow intertwine. Also, it’s important that you have a lot of anxiety when they don’t intertwine, sufficient to deprive yourself of sleep so that you are miserable during the production of the show – but then upon completion of the show, you’re guaranteed to be miserable, because nobody will watch it.

Add a sprinkle of incest

They’ll never admit it, but viewers love sex. In fact, they love any sort of titillation, with the exception of incest. So focus on that.

First impressions are everything

So if you can screw that up, you’re made. With Arrested Development, we tried showing the deep disdain that connects a family. We wanted to hold up a mirror to American society. And, just as predicted, America looked away.

Don’t be afraid to give characters the same names

Audiences tend to run from confusion. So a show, for instance, where one character is named George Michael, one character is named Michael, one character is named George and one character is named George Oscar (and perhaps another character is named Oscar), will be the kind of show you can almost guarantee people won’t develop a fondness for.

Make easy jokes about minority groups

Whether they be Mexicans, Jews or homosexuals, any group can be dismissed with a few stereotypical cracks. At least, that’s what we tried to do. And given their “lack of coming to the party”, it seems we succeeded!

Squander iconic guest stars

As an example, Liza Minnelli has famously appealed to the homosexual audience. Note: it’s very important to alienate the homosexual audience first, or they might “come to the party”.

Don’t bother with a laughter track

Audiences don’t always know “when to laugh”. By omitting a laugh track you can almost guarantee they’ll never find out.

Audiences like nicely dressed characters. They also enjoy nudity

Split the difference by putting your character in a pair of cut-offs and call him a Never-Nude. Advanced: feel free to dip him in a vat of blue paint. That’s a real turn-off.

Make a show for British sensibilities

And then show it in America.

Great Odin’s Raven! Will Ferrell to Appear on “The Office”

The end of this season of the NBC TV show, The Office, is gearing up to potentially be one of the best yet. Not only do we know that Michael Scott will leave by the end of this season, but along with that comes the mystery of who will replace him. Now, to make matters even more interesting, Will Ferrell is confirmed to appear in a 4 episode arc during the events leading up to Michael’s departure.

Sweet Grandmother's Spatula!!!

The Wrap, and several other sources, reported this last night, and apparently he will appear in three episodes before Michael leaves and one after. He will play another branch manager, who is equally, if not more, inappropriate than Michael.

I think this is great. I think the rapport between Carell and Ferrell will be comic gold. It has been a while since Michael has done anything incredibly outlandish. He has had his moments this season where he was inappropriate, but not to the painstaking point of incredibly awkward, like he would do in Seasons 1-3. I hope when these two unite on the screen, we can return to some great gut-busting flubs in office management.

Rumor has it they are going to start a Dunder Mifflin branch war and brawl in the streets.

What do you all think? Is Ferrell a good fit for the show? You can read more about the rest of this season here.

Will Michael Scott Be Leaving “The Office” Before the Season Finale?

By now,  just about everyone has heard that Steve Carell, who plays the character Michael Scott on NBC‘s The Office,  will be leaving at the end of the current season. But, during a recent interview with Pittsburgh’s Post Gazette, Greg Daniels, the executive producer of the show, is saying that it will happen a couple of episodes before the season finale. So, this means that sometime in late April, Michael Scott will leave the show.

Daniels said that giving Michael the boot before the end of the season would give viewers a chance to feel things out without Steve Carell. It also might have something to do with the fact that he will probably get a huge ratings boost for not one, but two episodes. Additionally, he said that the potential candidates would be Daryl, Dwight, Andy and potentially a few more. The person who chooses the successor to Michael Scott will be Kathy Bates.

Who has been playing less and less interesting roles since Misery.

He also mentioned that Amy Ryan, who was Michael Scott’s love interest in Season 5, will be returning a couple of episodes before that. 

Let's hope he doesn't find her like this.

These rumors, that actually seem pretty solid coming from Daniels’ mouth, lead me to believe that Michael might leave the show to be with Holly and depart the show on a high note. It would be hard at this point to imagine him leaving the show for some other reason, but I could be surprised. I hope they pull this off well, since the last couple of seasons have been kind of a drag, with the exception of a few episodes here and there. I look forward to seeing how this plays out.

 The next episode airs Thursday, January 20 on NBC.

2011 Golden Globe Nominees Announced

Awards season is about to kick into high gear as the second biggest film award nominations were announced earlier this morning. Here is the full list of nominees for the 2011 Golden Globe Awards:

Best Motion Picture: Drama

• Black Swan
• The Fighter
• Inception
• The King’s Speech
• The Social Network

Best Motion Picture: Musical or Comedy

• Alice in Wonderland
• The Tourist
• The Kids are All Right
• Red
• Burlesque

Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture: Drama

• Jesse Eisenberg for The Social Network
• Colin Firth for The King’s Speech
• James Franco for 127 Hours
• Ryan Gosling for Blue Valentine
• Mark Wahlberg for The Fighter

Best Performance by and Actress in a Motion Picture: Drama

• Halle Berry for Frankie and Alice
• Nicole Kidman for Rabbit Hole
• Jennifer Lawrence for Winter’s Bone
• Natalie Portman for Black Swan
• Michelle Williams for Blue Valentine

Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture: Musical or Comedy

• Johnny Depp for The Tourist
• Johnny Depp for Alice in Wonderland
• Paul Giamatti for Barney’s Version
• Jake Gyllenhall for Love and Other Drugs
• Kevin Spacey for Casino Jack

Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture: Musical or Comedy

• Annette Benning for The Kids are All Right
• Anne Hathaway for Love and Other Drugs
• Angelina Jolie for The Tourist
• Julianne Moore for The Kids are All Right
• Emma Stone for Easy A

Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role in a Motion Picture

• Christian Bale for The Fighter
• Michael Douglas for Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps
• Andrew Garfield for The Social Network
• Jeremy Renner for The Town
• Geoffrey Rush for The King’s Speech

Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role in a Motion Picture

• Amy Adams for The Fighter
• Helena Bonham Carter for The King’s Speech
• Mila Kunis for The Black Swan
• Melissa Leo for The Fighter
• Jacki Weaver for Animal Kingdom

Best Director : Motion Picture

• Darren Aronofsky for Black Swan
• David Fincher for The Social Network
• Tom Hooper for The King’s Speech
• Christopher Nolan for Inception
• David O. Russell for The Fighter

Best Screenplay

• 127 Hours- Danny Boyle, Simon Beaufoy
• Inception- Christopher Nolan
• The Kids are All Right- Stuart Blumbert, Lisa Cholodenko
• The King’s Speech- David Seidler
• The Social Network- Aaron Sorkin

Best Original Score: Motion Picture

• 127 Hours- A.R. Rahman
• Alice in Wonderland- Danny Elfman
• Inception- Hans Zimmer
• The King’s Speech- Alexandre Desplat
• The Social Network- Trent Reznor, Atticus Ross

Best Original Song: Motion Picture

• Burlesque (“Bound to You”)
• Burlesque (“You Haven’t Seen the Last of Me”)
• Country Strong (“Coming Home”)
• The Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader (“There’s a Place for Us”)
• Tangled (“I See the Light”)

Best Animated Film

• Despicable Me
• Toy Story 3
• How to Train Your Dragon
• The Illusionist
• Tangled

Best Foreign Language Film

• Biutiful
• I am Love
• The Concert
• The Edge
• In a Better World

Best Television Series: Drama

• Boardwalk Empire
• Dexter
• The Good Wife
• Mad Men
• The Walking Dead

Best Television Series: Musical or Comedy

• Glee
• Modern Family
• The Big C
• Nurse Jackie
• 30 Rock
• The Big Bang Theory

Best Mini-Series of Motion Picture Made for Television

• Carlos
• The Pacific
• The Pillars of Earth
• Temple Grandin
• You Don’t Know Jack

Best Performance by an Actor in a Mini-Series or a Motion Picture Made for Television

• Idris Elba for Luther
• Ian McShane for The Pillars of the Earth
• Al Pacino for You Don’t Know Jack
• Dennis Quaid for The Special Relationship
• Edgar Ramirez for Carlos

Best Performance by an Actress in a Mini-Series or a Motion Picture Made for Television:

• Hayley Atwell for The Pillars of the Earth
• Claire Danes for Temple Grandin
• Judi Dench for Return to Cranford
• Romola Garai for Emma
• Jennifer Love Hewitt for The Client List

Best Performance by an Actor in a Television Series: Musical or Comedy

• Alec Baldwin for 30 Rock
• Steve Carell for The Office
• Thomas Jane for Hung
• Matthew Morrison for Glee
• Jim Parsons for The Big Bang Theory

Best Performance by an Actress in a Television Series: Musical or Comedy

• Toni Collette for United States of Tara
• Edie Falco for Nurse Jackie
• Laura Linney for The Big C
• Tina Fey for 30 Rock
• Lea Michele for Glee

Best Performance by an Actor in a Television Series: Drama

• Steve Buscemi for Boardwalk Empire
• Bryan Cranston for Breaking Bad
• Michael C. Hall for Dexter
• Jon Hamm for Mad Men
• Hugh Laurie for House M.D.

Best Performance by an Actress in a Television Series: Drama

• Julianna Margulies for The Good Wife
• Elizabeth Moss for Mad Men
• Piper Perabo for Covert Affairs
• Katey Sagal for Sons of Anarchy
• Kyra Sedgwick for The Closer

Best Performance by an Actor in Supporting Role in Series, Mini-Series or Motion Picture Made for Television

• Scott Caan for Hawaii Five-0
• Chris Colfer for Glee
• Chris Noth for The Good Wife
• Eric Stonestreet for Modern Family
• David Strathairn for Temple Grandin

Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role in a Series, Mini-Series or Motion Picture Made for Television

• Hope Davis for The Special Relationship
• Jane Lynch for Glee
• Kelly Macdonald for Boardwalk Empire
• Julia Stiles for Dexter
• Sofia Vergara for Modern Family

And that’s it! There weren’t too many surprises, except in the Best Motion Picture: Musical or Comedy category. I can understand Burlesque because it is like the only musical to come out this year, but The Tourist? Granted, I haven’t seen it, but I find it hard to believe that a film that got a 20% from RottenTomatoes.com could end up being nominated for best comedy. And is it a comedy? What about Alice in Wonderland? I thought it was just okay and visually great, but it really fell short as a comedy and it was most definitely not a musical. I also thought the acting nominations in the comedy category tended to stick to known names rather than actually looking for solid comedic performances.

For television, while I am not a fan of the current seasons of the dramas that were nominated (sans Mad Men), they do make sense compared with the competition. I think Mad Men will sweep just about all dramatic categories.

What do you all think? Did they get it right this year or not?

 

The Walking Dead Finale Sputters into an Explosion

It’s hard to believe that my opinion of The Walking Dead could change so much in six weeks. As some of you remember, I thought that the premiere hinted at an enjoyable romp through the land of zombies with some ignorable stupidity mixed in. What started as me making light-hearted  jokes about how dumb the characters were, became exponentially more malicious with each episode. But, with only six episodes in the first season, I decided to weather the storm and finish it out.

***SPOILERS THROUGHOUT***

The finale starts off by trying to explain what happened to make Shane tell Lori that Rick is dead, beside the fact that he just wants to get into her pants. After placing his ear to Rick’s chest, instead of doing the logical thing of checking his pulse, Shane leaves Rick for dead and puts a bed in front of the door so the zombies can’t get in.

The epsiode then resumes where we left off, with the gang gaining access to the Center for Disease Control (CDC) and receiving a hearty greeting from Dr. Edwin Jenner, the sole survivor in the underground lab.

Greetings!

 After a simple blood test, Dr. Jenner welcomes the weary gang into his humble abode by providing excessive amounts of alcohol. As the gang gets drunker, emotions start to run high and Shane expresses his anger and love for Lori.

The next day, besides having a raging hangover, the gang learns from Dr. Jenner that the generators are about to expire, and once that happens a complete “decontamination” process will occur that will incinerate everything inside the building. Dr. Jenner believes he is doing them a favor by locking them in the building to die, but Rick gives a desperate speech about giving them a chance and Jenner finally lets them at least try to get out of the sealed off building.

Enter the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch

 After a conveniently remembered grenade gets them out of the building, they watch as the building explodes killing Dr. Jenner and Jacqui (we never see her until she volunteers to die, it was a logical way for the writers to get rid of an insignificant character). In the aftermath of the explosion, that gang is miraculously unharmed and Rick is unphased after getting blasted by both a grenade and the decontaminating explosion. Having beaten Dr. Jenner’s attempt to take natural selection into his own hands, the gang rides happily off into the sunset towards Season Two.

Even with all the action and suspense, I couldn’t get myself to care for any of these characters. Most of them are clichés, bringing little depth to the story. The person who I thought had the most depth, Dr. Jenner, is introduced near the end of the season, only to be killed off almost immediately. Jenner brought up some interesting points about hope in a world where there is nothing left. While I don’t necessarily agree with his point of view, it certainly was something to muse on before returning to the mindless affair that most of this season was.

I will keep watching the show, mainly because of my unexplained fascination with zombies, and to find out what Dr. Jenner said to Rick right before they left the CDC.

I'm going to miss your musk.

 

Sunday’s season finale brought in a record 6 million viewers for AMC and broke a basic cable record by having the highest rating among viewers age 18-49. The show got picked up for a second season of 13 episodes which will air around the same time next year. Let’s hope that next season they can use the extra time to fully flesh out (no pun intended) the main characters and make the show a little less frustrating to watch.

My 3 Favorite TV Shows This Fall (Beer Blog)

Now that I have sufficiently ranted about the TV shows that have forced me to the bottle:

Even if it has been a most delectable bottle.

I will now discuss some shows that have done their darndest to revive this lackadaisical Fall TV Season.

#3 The League (FX Thursdays @10:30 EST)

When I first saw previews for the first season of this show I said, “How the heck are they going to make a show about a Fantasy Football league?” I completely ignored it until I saw that it had been renewed for a second season and it made me curious how it had been popular enough for a renewal. I watched the first episode of Season Two and I hardly stopped laughing the whole time and I almost immediately went out and bought the first season on Blu-ray. Three hours and all six episodes later:

And after a couple of these...

I finished the first season and had a new show to add to my list of favorites.

The show is deceptive in its title because the actual Fantasy Football League only serves as the backdrop for these hilarious characters to interact. What is great, is that while the predicaments the characters get into are outlandish, the characters are very relatable. It also helps that I am part of a Fantasy League and can relate to those stories and jokes as well. The second season has been consistently funny and I can’t think of an episode that I thought was not up to the par of the first season. If you haven’t seen it, or were skeptical about it like I was, check it out, but just like It’s Always Sunny, if you are easily offended, you might want to avoid it.

#2 East Bound and Down (HBO Sundays @ 10:30pm EST)

Let me start off by saying that this season was nowhere near as funny as the first, but, that being said, it succeeded on a level that the first season wasn’t able to. It actually brought depth (as much as they could) to the character of Kenny Powers (Danny McBride) without losing his sharp (or dull depending on how you look at it) tongue and cocky attitude. Will Ferrell and Adam McKay were worried when they first started the show that they wouldn’t be able to get people to root for someone as shallow as Kenny or be able to make the character progress without losing what actually makes the show funny.

The second season brought Kenny to Mexico and back again which gave him some time to reflect on his actions in the States and also to pursue a life in the world of cock-fighting. While  a couple of episodes wandered a bit, and I thought that they over played the part of Stevie Janowski, overall I thought the season was very well done as we follow Kenny’s anti-hero journey of self discovery. There were some great cameos and I thought that even though the jokes were just a little more stale, it was still maintained a consistent level of humor that other shows weren’t able to provide.

I'm looking at you 30 Rock.

#1 Modern Family (ABC Wednesdays @9pm EST)

What can I say? I love this show. The delightful mix of characters and great performances make it clear why it won the Emmy Award for Best comedy. The way that the characters interact really is like watching a real family and they always find some way to hit home on relational issues at least once an episode without making it look contrived or forced. I really hope that they can secure another Emmy or Golden Globe this year because it remains one of the freshest shows on TV and provides a well needed mid-week laugh in its current time slot.

Modern Family: As refreshing as Terrapin Hop Karma

After I finished writing this list, I realized that there were no dramas currently listed on here. Maybe I don’t watch enough of them, but it really seems like a lot of dramas are floundering in clichés and struggling to find ideas, except for Mad Men (which I didn’t include because it starts mid-summer). My favorite Fall drama on TV, House, while it has never really disappointed me, isn’t really up to the level that it used to be. Plus, the show has been invaded by a 12 year old girl who always looks like she is about to cry.

Psst...get off my show!!!

Dexter, Boardwalk Empire, and The Walking Dead have all struggled from either poor writing or lack of direction. So, yes, this season the comedies are reigning supreme and I propose a challenge to dramatic television….STEP UP YOUR GAME!!!

Steve Carell to Produce Mail Room Comedy on NBC

According to Deadline.com, Steve Carell will not be straying far from television after his departure from The Office at the end of this season. NBC has bought a new single-camera project that will be written by Carell that revolves around a small town post office and the eccentric group of friends that frequent it. The show, which as of now carries the temporary title of The Post-Graduate Project, is based on Carell’s time that he spent as a mail carrier before he launched his acting career.

I think this is a great project for Carell to undertake. Based on the writing that he did for 40 Year-Old Virgin, he has proven that he has a knack for relatable comedy. From interviews and stories, it is clear that he is a very down-to-earth guy and this seems like a great way to channel that into a show that has both depth and humor, like The Office was in its second and third seasons.

What do you think? Will this be another successful project for Carell? Or should he just stick to acting?

3 TV Shows That Disappointed Me This Fall

Even though it has only been two and a half months, I feel like I can look back on the Chris that started out the Fall TV Season with such idealistic hope and say, “Look at you, you’re so young and naive. Little do you know of the countless hours you will waste in front of the television screen watching your so-called favorite shows only to realize that those hours have been wasted watching shows that don’t love you back.” That is not to say that there haven’t been shows that I have thoroughly enjoyed, but the ones that I most looked forward to seem to have been the ones that have let me down.

Let me start with some new shows that I had high hopes for.

#3 The Walking Dead

I want so much to like this show. I even went so far as to tout the first episode as a pinnacle of hope for the lackluster season. However, it has steadily declined and like that oft mentioned train wreck, I cannot look away. I cannot ignore the stupidity of the main characters and the gaping plot holes. These people should all be dead and as much as I don’t like his character on the show, Darryl should be the only one left alive right now. Granted he is the loudmouth, stereotyped, white supremacist redneck that everyone hates, including me, but he is the smartest one right now. He uses a crossbow so as not to attract noise and he is all for shooting people as soon as they get bit to eliminate the risk.

Actually it looks like he just likes shooting everything in general.

Enough about how Darryl though, the show as a whole is as slow-moving as the zombies. I think this is a great idea for a show, but you have to do it right. I love zombie films and while in a movie setting you deal with stupid characters making stupid decisions, you only have to deal with it for an hour and a half or so and  is usually so jam packed with swarming zombies you can forgive the stupidity in the heat of the moment. I was willing to overlook it for the first episode because I didn’t know how much more that there would be in the rest of the show. Plus, these people aren’t making heat-of-the-moment stupid decisions, because they hardly ever get attacked by zombies. Instead, the characters prolong their stupidity and sometimes even plan for it.

Yeah....this is a good idea.

So, I’m sorry Walking Dead, I have given you several chances to fix yourself. While you still may have my viewership for the time being, I cannot back you or recommend you to anyone else.

#2 Boardwalk Empire

Boardwalk Empire, much like The Walking Dead, was a new show that I thoroughly enjoyed watching the first episode. There was great production value, great character development, great acting, and it looked like the sky was the limit. However, the show decided that getting two feet off the ground was good enough.

Granted, I stopped watching after Episode 6, but that’s how disappointed I was. There was so much potential and  quality squandered on what seemed like nothing. Kind of like Dave Chapelle‘s description of Lil’ Jon, who sounds like he is about to rap, but never gets around to it, Boardwalk Empire sets up great plots and subplots only to never go anywhere with them. It teases you mentioning them really briefly and then zooming in Steve Buscemi‘s teeth, or shooting someone for no reason.

Oh yeah, and that....

Maybe one day I will finish the season and I will find out I am wrong. But, that’s the problem with the first six episodes, even if I am wrong, they weren’t good enough to make me really care to find out.

#1 Dexter

Oh, how the mighty have fallen. After one of the most genius and suspenseful season finales in the history of television, the writers had Dexter’s world in the palm of their hand. Season Five was set up to be one of the most, if not the most, intense and gripping of the series. Instead, it is by far my least favorite, and that is saying something since Season Three was a major dud as well. They had a million directions to go with the show to keep people interested. Instead, it seems like the writers had came up with a great idea and just didn’t know what to do with it. They created a cliffhanger and decided that the best way to deal with that was to just plummet the show slowly and painfully to its death.

They are focusing on all the wrong things with this season. I don’t care about the romance between the unlikely romance between the anorexic Quinn and Deb or the even worse romance between LaGuerta and Batista. I don’t care about what Julia Stiles has to say. Yes, it was terrible how she was raped, one description was fine. It seems like every time she opens her mouth, 10 minutes of the episode is wasted as, with a quivering lip, she tells yet another horrible tale (and I don’t just mean how horrible things happened to her). Those were 10 minutes that Dexter could have been outsmarting Quinn and Robocop. Hell, he could have just been sitting there drinking coffee watching people and it would have been more interesting than Lumen’s incessant babble.

Wow, this is a rare moment...her mouth is closed.

The writers, in my opinion, should have had a story that involved Dexter dealing with the disturbing aftermath of the season 4 finale. He had been held back, pussyfooting around Rita to commit his crimes and it would have been a great opportunity for telling a story about a Dexter who is uninhibited by Rita. Oh well, it is a little late for all that now. I really hope this season ends well because if not, it is going to be a lot harder to feel like getting into the show next season.

What are some shows that have let you down? Are there any you recommend?

The Walking Dead is Staggering Toward Ridiculous

First off, let me say that I am a fan of The Walking Dead. I enjoy the idea that a tv show is being made out of the zombie apocalypse, and I have been doing my best to ignore the stupidity of the characters for plot advancement, but Episode 3 may have finally been too much idiocy for its own good.

SPOILER ALERTS THROUGHOUT

The episode opens on an abandoned Merle, handcuffed on the roof of a building in Atlanta. He is slowly going crazy and he frustratedly tugs at the handcuffs. It is safe to say that he has been up there for a little while and when we left him after the last episode the zombies were clawing at the roof door. When the zombies return he immediately begins frantically thrashing around and trying to reach a hacksaw that had been lying there the whole time.

Now, you would think that Merle, being as frustrated as he was, especially since he had heard the zombies earlier that day, would have already exhausted that option. Or, how about how he ended up getting the hacksaw? He was trying to get it with a belt, when he could have easily swung his body under the pipe and moved it closer with his legs.

I mean, come on....

Move to exterior woodland camp where the survivors meet up with Rick and crew after escaping the city. They survivor camp is heartily greeted by Glenn driving a siren wailing car, even though he had the option of getting in the quiet truck outside the city with the others. Granted, Glenn really wanted the car, but come on…you’re telling me that one of the others didn’t tell him to get out for everyone else’s safety? His siren, as potentially witnessed by the deer-eating zombie, could have attracted some that were nearby, since Dale said that he hadn’t seen the zombies up that far in the woods.

The venison-craving zombie brings up another ridiculous plot point. When they find this zombie they beat him to death with stakes, pitchforks and eventually a crossbow to the head, so that they won’t make noise to attract attention. Shane seems to be a stark advocate of this method and doing everything he can to remain off the zombie radar, yet when they are in the water splashing around he is yelling at the top of his lungs and laughing. Real smart, Shane.

We are then introduced to Daryl (Norman Reedus), Merle’s brother, who took acting lessons from Samuel L. Jackson for this role, to ensure that he is always yelling. After the guys tell him that they handcuffed his brother to a roof and left him there, his anger and yelling guilts them into going on an ill-advised rescue mission. I am willing to suspend plausibility and defend this idiotic move here because they now have weapons and they are trying to remain human in a decreasingly human society.

Stereotypes still apply though: The white guys get the weapons and the Asian kid goes first.

Then comes the kicker. The gang gets to the rooftop and Merle is gone and his handcuff is dangling from the pipe. Oh okay, he got out, just like they were foreshadowing at the beginning of the episode, he must have hacksawed through the handcuff…..wait….is that his hand on the ground? What? Why did he hack off his own hand instead of sawing through run-of-the-mill handcuffs? These weren’t like the shackles in Saw where they couldn’t be cut with a hacksaw. That is the point we were left with….Merle is an idiot and so is everyone else on the show.

I mean, now they are worried about where he is, and if he will track them down and try to kill them like the crazy redneck he is. But, if you ask me, they should have just started laughing right there like, “What an idiot….” If he ever does find them, there is little to be intimidated by. He is dumb as all get-out and could easily be distracted if you tossed a jug of moonshine at him. The only way they could make him be intimidating with one hand would be this….

Despite all my ranting, I still like the show as a whole so far. It is just getting harder and harder to suspend my disbelief, and if they don’t rein it in for the next episode, it is going to be difficult to continue watching. But, since I am now hooked to the point of being intrigued that natural selection hasn’t taken its course on this rag-tag band of survivors, I at least want to see one of them meet the demise they deserve on the show.

The Walking Dead Brings Life to the Fall TV Season

Written by: Chris Petersen

The Walking Dead gave me nightmares, not because it was necessarily scary, but I really did dream about getting chased by zombies all night and I am sure that was a direct result of watching the show. After months of anticipation, teaser trailers, and zombie enthusiasts claiming that the end is coming, AMC premiered its new series, The Walking Dead on Sunday to 5.3 million viewers, which is more than any other cable network series premiere this season (including smash hits Mad Men and Breaking Bad).

The series starts off very similarly to 28 Days Later, the protagonist, Sheriff’s Deputy Rick Grimes (Andrew Lincoln)  wakes up in an abandoned hospital, finding several dead bodies and that the town has been deserted. He is found by a widowed father and his son, who take him in and explain that an unknown virus has infected several people which kills them and then reanimates them into an undead state. Desperate to find his wife and son, Rick takes off across the desolate highways of Georgia to find them.

Frank Darabont, director of Shawshank Redemption and The Green Mile, took on directorial duties for the show, which is based on a comic book series of the same name, and did an outstanding job setting the stage for what could end up being one of the best shows on television. He paced the premiere as slow as the zombies, but really took time to develop the main character and some of the supporting roles. Darabont is also supported by the outstanding production value that AMC delivers to its viewers and is solidifying itself as the new go-to network for great television.

While it is interesting to see how the characters react emotionally to the devastation, they are as dumb as a bag of hammers. I don’t know how Rick Grimes ever made it as far as he did as a police officer. He has the worst ideas when it comes to escaping the lumbering undead and acts like he has nothing to lose, when they spend the entire episode trying to establish that he does have something to lose, his family. But, the plot probably couldn’t move forward without a hefty amount of stupidity on the part of the main characters; most horror films can’t.

This seems like a good idea....

My favorite part was after they had established that noise attracts the undead and then when Rick and his friends part ways in separate cars, they all honk at each other and Rick even whoops the siren. Real smart guys…

Outside of that, the script was pretty well written, and the zombie make up was some of the best in recent memory. These are not the quick moving, rage virus affected people from the 28 Days series, but instead the classic slow-moving zombies, which I think are better. While they may not create the simple thrills of a fast chase, they do provide a much more claustrophobic horror as they slowly surround and close in on the survivors.

Wait!!! Have you seen my contact?

I think this series is headed in the right direction, striking a good balance between character development and plot progression and with a great cliffhanger of an ending to the first episode, I am eagerly awaiting a second. Plus, with the positive feedback of most of the 5.3 million viewers, I think the following of this show will grow and AMC will make the announcement soon that they are renewing it for a second season.

• Characters: B+
• Cinematography: A-
• Directing: A
• Performances: A-
• Plot: A
• Overall: A-

What are your thoughts? Is the Walking Dead going to die after one season? Or will it get renewed for an extended viewing next year?

7 Characters You Will Find in a Zombie Survivalist Party

With the premiere of AMC’s The Walking Dead coming this Sunday night, I decided to do a zombie feature article. As predictable as the fact every House episode mystery is solved between the 36-39 minute range (if you watch it on DVD), almost every zombie film will have some form of these following characters, band together to survive the zombie apocalypse.

The Hero

We all know this guy; he is the every man. He usually comes from the middle class, and is usually somehow involved with law enforcement or security. He is the reluctant leader, forced into that position by lack of saner options (see: badass and panic guy). However, he is also the least interesting character most of the time. The hero hardly ever gets any mention by fans after the film because most of his time is spent telling people to calm down and is usually humorless (with the exception of Shaun of the Dead). Being the hero in a zombie survivalist party is no great honor though, because it usually requires sacrificing yourself at the end of the film to save your love interest or a lazy little child.

Chance of survival: 20% (65% if there is no child)

The Badass

Due to some childhood trauma, crystal meth, steroids, or long exposure to lead-based paint (or a combination of all of those), this rage-fueled, profanity spewing character can be your best friend or your worst enemy when it comes to a zombie apocalypse. He is handy when the zombies have found the group and they are closing in, because he will either kill them violently in slow motion or he will act as a distraction so you can make a clean get away. He is your worst enemy when you are trying to remain unseen from the zombies because he will get fidgety and will start yelling and opening fire at the worst possible time.

If he lacks a gun, a chainsaw is his secondary weapon.

He also will cause problems because since he has killed the most zombies he thinks he is the most qualified to lead the group….right into harm’s way. After a couple of days he recovers from the crystal meth and steroid abuse and realizes how terrible of a friend he has been to the group. Using what juice is left in his system, he will usually go down in a blaze of glory, deliberately sacrificing himself to save the rest of the group.

The good outweighs the bad with this character, he is a strong, albeit unstable, ally during the apocalypse.

Chance of survival: 13%

The Ultimate Survivor

The Ultimate Survivor usually is not introduced until about halfway through the film. This guy will have claimed to have been hiding out alone, killing zombies, for at least six months, even if the apocalypse just started two days ago. He will know all the ins and outs about how to defeat them, and will seem like an automatic shoe-in for leader of the outfit. While he is a loner, he will take in the struggling band of survivors, but he usually has his own disturbing agenda. He will generally have a dislike of everyone, except the hot chick who he will berate anyway, but will have ethical differences with the hero. The hero will get into an argument with the ultimate survivor, which will be less of a vocal disagreement than a staring and nostril flaring competition, which eventually leads to a fist fight or imprisonment while the zombies close in. Despite his self-proclaimed prowess at killing zombies, it will fail him somehow and he will meet a gruesome death, usually in an ironic manner, and the hero and clan will leave him to die.

Chance of survival: 0.05%

The Parent/Relative/Extremely Close Friend

The zombie apocalypse will always happen when someone in the survivalist party is with a relative, that is either their only friend and confidant, or someone they have been estranged from for years, and they are forced to take them with the group on their journey to survive. If their relative is more like a best friend they will work as an incredible unstoppable zombie killing force for 3/4ths of the film. They will have some sort of catch phrase or inside joke that was established at the start of the film that will be overused and involve either sex or bodily functions.

If the relative is someone they are estranged with, they will not work well with the group and they will bicker and argue, get in each other’s ways and air out differences when they should be focused more on killing the undead horde that is nearby. But, about 2/3 of the way through the film they will all of a sudden find common ground (probably killing zombies), and work things out. For the next 10 minutes of the film, they will become like best friends and become that unstoppable force.

Whichever type of relative this character is, it usually ends the same: they get bit by a zombie. If you happen to be the parent of The Child (see below), they are twice as likely to be eaten by zombies, leaving the hero to have to emotionally blow their face off and also be burdened by taking care of their offspring.

Maybe if we ignore them they will stop following us.

If this is not enough to make them feel bad, they will probably not be killed by the hero soon enough to stop them from killing more of their zombie survivalist friends.

Chance of Survival: 5%

The Hardened Woman/Potential Love Interest

Apocalypse’s are great for the down-on-their-luck heroes who never get any action. It is the one time that they can legitimately turn to that hot girl and say, “Well, the world is about to end…so….you know….” But, the hero never does that to someone that he hasn’t fallen madly in love with in 72 hours. What union the zombie apocalypse has started, no undead man can tear apart. The love interest, whether it is someone he just met, or someone he has pined over for a while, will be a vital asset to him because it gives him a reason to live and the only reason to step up and be the hero, until she gets him killed. She is usually the strong, yet damaged type, using rage over an ex-boyfriend or “that time of the month” to her advantage as a zombie killing machine. She will probably rack up the second highest zombie kill count of the group and play the tough girl, until the hero and her, next to an ill-advised campfire (why do they always light campfires during zombie films? I get it, they want to stay warm, but it is just pointing out their position to the zombies), will make a connection and boom chica-wow wow.

Chances are that she will survive because the hero will be much more focused on saving his piece of tail than anyone else in the group.

Chance of Survival: 92%

The Panic Guy

As soon as you meet this guy in the film, you know there is no way he is going to survive. He is a tool, and usually a prick to the hero, before the apocalypse. He is cocky, rich and will have stereotypical 80’s antagonist written all over him. All his cockiness will come crashing down when he stares into the lifeless eyes of the undead. He will become a bundle of nerves, like a ticking time bomb waiting to explode. He will think he is smarter than everyone just because he is richer and of a higher class. He will not even make it halfway through the film, and will probably cost you a member of the survivalist party because he will sacrifice their safety to save his own skin. When he finally completely loses his cool, starts screaming like a little girl, and making rash decisions. These rash decisions will lead him to probably the most gruesome death of the film.

Tickle torture!!!!

They will probably stay put and in a dead pan voice yell, “Wait..no..don’t do that…we don’t want you to die and stuff…”, but as soon as he is gone, shrug and continue their journey.

Chance of survival: 0%

The Child

The best way to survive a zombie apocalypse is to be a helpless child. Sure, we all see zombie children and they are creepy as hell.

Especially this one.

But, in the film, once you are established as a solid member of the survivor group (membership is usually established through The Relative character), you are good to go. Everyone else will go out of their way to save your lazy butt from the horrible zombies you are making no attempt to run away from. The hero, parent, or love interest will put them over their shoulder or carry them while shooting or swinging their baseball bat. All the child has to do is scream to alert the party that zombies are nearby and they are good to go. Plus, it is brutal watching a child get murdered. It is apparently okay to introduce a child zombie post-reanimation, but it is not okay to introduce them before having them eaten by zombies.

Chance of Survival: 100%

If you can think of other stock characters from zombie films, leave them in the comments!

Here are some clips from The Walking Dead which premieres this Sunday at 10pm to satiate your desire for the undead!!!

South Park Inception Spoof

Last night, I watched one of the funniest episodes of South Park that I have seen in a while. The episode was called Insheeption and spoofed the Christopher Nolan film Inception. There were many funny scenes, especially when Leo and crew show up to explain the dream within a dream concept, but I have chosen a different clip to share: the one where the dream architects share their explanation of Inception to some simple firemen. If you can, find the full episode online and watch it; it will have you rolling.

Here is the clip:

Mad Men Season Four Wrapup

As some of you know from reading my article 3 Tv Shows I Can’t Get Enough Of Watching, Mad Men is one of my favorite shows on television. The character driven storyline, beautiful production, and superb acting have garnered many deserved Emmy Awards and its complexities and subtleties are far beyond my limited, satirical writing capabilities. So, to do justice to the greatness that is this show, I am turning over the pen to a higher scholar, my brother, Jerome (or if you want to use his Christian name, Jeremiah….or Jeremy).

Jerome Petersen

SPOILER ALERT: IF YOU HAVE NOT SEEN THE SEASON FINALE OF MAD MEN AND WANT TO BE SURPRISED BY THE ENDING, DO NOT READ ANY FURTHER, AS I WILL DISCUSS CRUCIAL PLOT DETAILS.

Written by: Jeremy Petersen

Before I launch into this piece, a brief note on its scope. There is a great deal that I could write about here from the season finale of Mad Men. Aside from the major event of the episode, Don’s engagement, Betty attempts to get a fresh start with her family in a new town, continuing a pattern of somewhat misguided–if not unwarranted–behavior that began with her divorce from Don; viewers get proof validating the theories of many that Joan never aborted her baby; the ad agency makes important strides towards recovery; and Peggy and Joan’s conversation regarding Don’s engagement reintroduce the concerns of women in the workplace. However, as Don is the central character and his engagement the dominant storyline in this episode, I will focus primarily on him and his engagement here.

 This season of AMC’s Mad Men opened with the intriguing question “Who is Donald Draper?” Throughout the season, Don (Jon Hamm) has been at points vulnerable and introspective–particularly in the brilliant episode “The Suitcase”–and at others pitiable and discomfiting, such as his disastrous liaison with his previous secretary Allison and his bender after receiving the Clio award. Sunday’s episode, “Tomorrowland,”  reintroduces the confident Don Draper, but not in a way that sweeps aside the complicating revelations regarding Don’s character.

 The final episode of this season does not so much reveal new facets of Don’s character as review more explicitly what we have learned and look at what Don chooses to do with what he has learned. We see clearly his rededication to his children (though he never interacts with his youngest son, Gene); we see his impulsiveness–previously apparent in his full-page anti-tobacco manifesto and his departure from Sterling-Cooper at the end of last season–in his proposal to Megan (Jessica Paré), his latest secretary, after a brief heady trip to California; we see that Don is still uncomfortable with who he is. Earlier in the season, Don reflected on his nature, worked to blunt some of his (self-)destructive tendencies, and agonized over how to deal with his past life as Dick Whitman; in this episode Don’s choice to unceremoniously jettison the perceptive psychologist Dr. Faye Miller (Cara Buono) in favor of Megan exemplifies his choice of  ease and immediate pleasure over authenticity and a clear conscience.

Certainly the most discussed aspect of this episode will be Don’s unanticipated and impetuous decision to marry his secretary. Admittedly, both I and my wife were shocked when he pulled out Anna’s engagement ring (I even floated the ridiculous theory that the scene was a Lost-esque flash-forward, and that it only set the scene for a Season Five that showed how Don got to that point); however, Don’s choice–if not necessarily his timing–makes sense in light of his current relationship with Dr. Miller and his previous marriage to Betty (January Jones). Dr. Miller is in essence too good for Don. She is smart, principled, and encouraging–she tries to help Don be a better man. Executive producer Matt Weiner left numerous clues that their relationship would not last. Aside from the fact that much of their relationship revolved around business, that Don slept with Megan during an uncertain point in his time with Dr.Miller, and that, like Betty, Faye is blonde (virtually all of Don’s long-term extramarital partners have dark hair), Dr. Miller plays the mother to Don’s wounded child, an imbalance exemplified in the opening scene of the episode when Dr. Miller makes sure that Don gets up for his flight. A man like Don who finds satisfaction in being in charge could never be in that position for long.

Viewers likely legitimately ask what Don sees in Megan aside from her youth and physical beauty. Most of the answers center around the way that she makes Don feel (at least according to him). While Dr. Miller encouraged Don to challenge himself, Megan is content with who Don is now, that he has, as she says, “a good heart and…[is] always trying to be better.” Similarly, Don does not have to challenge Megan as he did Betty. Megan, as she showed earlier in the season when handling Sally, is comfortable with Don’s children (unlike Faye or Betty). When Megan calmly responds to a milkshake spilled as a result of a sibling spat, Don at first appears befuddled, and then amused that she doesn’t explode as Betty certainly would. She gives him the opportunity to feel in charge, as the scene where Don proposes reverses the relationship dynamics of the opening scene. Despite the differences in age and position, the camera attempts to give the viewer a sense of relationship balance in the shot the morning following their first liaison in the California hotel, showing from a vertical view a pair of lovers facing each other in near-perfect symmetry.

 That near-perfection is ultimately what is rather off-putting about Don’s choice to both viewers and more critical characters like Peggy and Joan. He has neatly avoided having to deal with his past for the sake of immediate comfort. This is certainly different,

And as Veronica from Better off Ted would say, "By different, I mean better."

than his other one-night stands and immature relationships earlier in the season that Don attempts to numb himself with, but Don’s statement that Megan makes him happy shows that he is not being particularly circumspect about his motives. In an earlier season, Don made a point of calling Roger Sterling “a fool” for a marriage to a secretary for purportedly similar reasons. The closing scene of the season makes clear that Don has still not found peace: His eyes are wide open while Megan sleeps, and the closing shot of the darkened window subtly reinforces the motif of entrapment and tension present for Don throughout the series.

Not surprisingly, Faye has the most perceptive comment regarding Don’s character in light of his engagement. As Don breaks up with her over the phone, Faye exclaims that she hopes Megan knows he “only like[s] the beginnings of things.” This comment provides a link between the ending of this season and the last, as Don’s push to break with Sterling-Cooper led to a heady euphoria similar to that caused by his engagement. While initially exhilarating, the new agency that came from that decision has thus far led to its share of unanticipated business and personal headaches that Don has struggled to deal with. His engagement–in some ways an answer to his problems at the agency–and future marriage will almost be more complicated than Don imagines at this point. Since Don, through his Gatsbian self-razing and reinvention, is representative of the American character, Don’s choice and Faye’s analysis of it have clear implications (the extent of which are another topic) that apply to the contemporary American mindset, both individually and collectively.

Like the end of last season, viewers are left with an optimistic uncertainty regarding the future of Don and his agency. Don is getting engaged, but those around him–and viewers as well, most likely–are ambivalent or even cynical about his motives and prospects. There is light at the end of the tunnel for the agency through the acquisition of the Topaz pantyhose account and encouraging interactions with the American Cancer Society, but the minimal immediate benefits from the work hardly fill the void left by Lucky Strike. As Mad Men proceeds into late 1965 and beyond, the subversive undercurrent commonly associated with the 1960s and the Vietnam War, both previously only hinted at, will likely take center stage for many of the characters. Whether the semblance of domestic comfort and stability that Don has grasped at through his engagement will enable him to weather the coming cultural and personal storms remains to be seen.

For Wes Anderson and Stella Artois fans….

As most of you know, Wes Anderson is one of my favorite directors. He also works frequently with Roman Coppola, son of Francis Ford Coppola for his films. Now the two have combined their geniuses for nothing other than a Stella Artois commercial. While Stella is not really my type of beer, their commercial style actually seems right up their alley.

A spokesman for Mother, the advertising firm that produced the one minute commercial had this to say about the project,

“We were really happy to have Wes and Roman on board. We wanted to set this brand and this film in a 1960s French film world and there’s a lot of that influence in Wes’ work. Also, Roman is a gadgets fanatic, so it was truly the best combination of talent to direct this commercial.”

Here is the finished product:

After watching it, I had mixed feelings. While it definitely had all the French stylings that Anderson digs and it was a beautifully shot commercial, I think I expected more. But, sometimes with Anderson’s work it takes some time to set in. I can’t believe I am devoting this much time talking about a commercial. Anyway…..what do you all think? Does it make you want a Stella?

Fall TV Premiere Wrap Up (Part I)

There was a time two years ago when I only watched two shows on a regular basis, The Office and Lost. Now, thanks to DVR, DVD, my fiance, my brother, and Netflix here is the list of shows that I watch regularly:

It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Dexter, Boardwalk Empire, 30 Rock, The Office, Modern Family, Eastbound and Down, Supernatural, Glee, House, Entourage, and Mad Men. I am probably leaving some out and that is not including some of the stuff my fiance watches that I hope will be in exchange for some Maryland Terrapins basketball time this winter.

Here are my thoughts on each of the season premieres that I have seen so far. I will try to keep this brief.  

It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia

Season Premiere Review: ***1/2 out of 4 stars

Chris’ Take: This has been the funniest openings to an It’s Always Sunny since Season 3. Seasons 4 and 5 featured hit or miss episodes, but the first two episodes of this season have been hilarious. The story arc with everyone becoming romantically entwined for the wrong reasons has been engrossing and side splitting. There are now story threads that seem to be working over a couple of episodes rather than disappearing after one episode and it is working for the show. I hope it keeps this up.

The Event

Series Premiere Review: **1/2 out of 4 stars

Chris’ Take: After all the hype, it kind of delivered, but only at the end. After watching one of the most convaluded flashback and present timeline conglomerations ever conceived in one episode, obviously borrowing heavily from Lost, it ended with a mysterious event (Hey! I get it now!) While I don’t care about any of the characters enough yet, I am interested in seeing a couple of them fleshed out, but something tells me that the majority of them will remain two-dimensional, and will only change through unconvincing plot twists. Still, the ending was enough to keep me wanting to see what exactly happened and I finished it OnDemand just in time to realize that I missed the first half of the second episode and didn’t have it on DVR.

Running Wilde

Series Premiere Rating: *1/2 out of 4 stars

Chris’ Take: I was thoroughly excited to know that Will Arnett and Mitchell Hurwitz were collaborating on this show. It promised the return of a GOB character to tv and I thought what could go wrong? What we got was a mess, struggling from the start to force the humor and make changes throughout the episode that didn’t seem to make sense for the characters. While the show garnered a few laughs, it was not enough to satiate my desire for more. I will watch one or two more episodes to see if it was just the pilot setting the stage for something better, but I don’t see it going that way. I am guessing this show will be cancelled rather soon.

30 Rock

Season Premiere Review: ** out of 4 stars

Chris’ Take: This premiere had a lot of potential, coming off the season finale that featured Jack’s marriage, Matt Damon and the departure of Kenneth (about as much of a cliffhanger as this show could have). Matt Damon did return to reprise his role, but it was very unfunny and added almost nothing to the story. All the gags seemed to fall flat, with the exception of Tracy hallucinating about seeing Kenneth and having him throw himself in front of a car to prove he was real. If the rest of the episodes are this stale, I think this show will run its course in the next year or so, but I like Tina Fey and crew, so I hope that is not the case.

The Office

Season Premiere Review: **1/2 out of 4 stars

Chris’ Take: I had a lot of anticipation about this new season, with all the Michael Scott replacement rumors, but obviously that story arc will not happen until later. I was mildly amused most of the time and enjoyed the return of Jim and Pam’s pranks, but it didn’t seem to flow, especially the opening sequence which was zany, but not that funny and had nothing to do with the story and very little to do with the characters themselves. I did like how they didn’t worry about building up the romance between Gabe and Erin because it didn’t really need to be explained, it just was. I still hold out hope that this will be a very interesting season and look forward to the next episode.

Eastbound and Down

Season Premiere Rating: *** out of 4 stars

Chris’ Take: While this wasn’t necessarily Kenny Powers at his funniest, it certainly introduced some hilarious secondary characters, especially his “side kick” who wasn’t his “side kick”, Aaron (Deep Roy).  I liked how Kenny is now transported to a small country and not only has a social barrier, but also a language barrier. This season probably will not be as funny as the last, but it is certainly off to a great start.

I have not watched the House or Modern Family premieres, but when I do, I will write a short excerpt on those as well.  Let me know your thoughts on the new seasons of your favorite shows in the comments!

Take Two: “Dexter” Season 5 Premiere

Chris’ Take: 

*** out of 4 stars 

SEASON 4 SPOILER ALERT SEASON 4 SPOILER ALERT 

There is no way to write this blog without serious spoiler alerts from the Season 4 season finale, which was one of the of the most cliff-hanging, series altering, season finales ever. It was right up there with Jack telling Kate, “We have to go back!!!” at the end of Season 3 of Lost (except this one had incredibly dark implications). 

After Dexter’s wife, Rita, is found dead in the bathtub at the end of Season 4, Season 5 picks up immediately after that with Miami PD and FBI swarming his house while he stands in shock, holding his blood covered child. The show then takes some turns that I did not see coming, with Dexter being the prime suspect for the crime. Not being able to cope with the death of Rita as his life is turned upside down, and the cracks in his psychology and sanity start to show, he runs away leaving Deb and Miami PD to pick up the pieces, but also leaving a massive cloud of doubt surrounding his innocence. I will leave out the ending of the episode for any of those who haven’t seen the episode yet. 

This episode was slow, but necessary. The writers knew that they needed to develop several different aspects of the fallout of Season 4 before picking up the story arc. There is a lot of promise for Season 5 after this episode because it set everything up perfectly. The show didn’t try to clear everything up for Dexter to return to his normal practices and created a lot of tension in almost every aspect of the show. 

Except for this disgusting romance.

 Also, what the heck was up with Quinn losing like 30 pounds almost instantly? I think he has some serious health issues if the producers want us to legitimately believe that this was a couple hours after the Season 4 finale. Astor also aged quite a bit in a couple of hours, but that is kind of hard to stop and isn’t as obvious as Quinn’s new instant weight loss program. 

I lost 30 pounds in 10 minutes!!

 Overall, I thought this was a great set up episode and I love where this show is going. It still is on my list of shows that I can’t get enough of watching. Over to you, Pac. 

Pac’s Take: 

SPOILER ALERTS CONTINUE 

Often times season finales are a lot more memorable than season premieres for a television series and with Dexter this is no exception.  The downside of ending a tv series with such an impactful cliff-hanger like the season 4 finale of Dexter is that it’s very hard for the season premiere of the next season to live up to the expectations many will ultimately make. 

I think season 5 of Dexter has the potential to be the best season of the series yet, even exceeding what was an incredible season 4.  However, if this does end up being the case, this past episode (season premiere) will not be one of the more memorable episodes.  Chris is right though, it was necessary.  Dexter’s reaction to Rita’s murder, his behavior leading to his suspect, Deb having to pick up the pieces of his life, and the cracks starting to show were all strongly developed in this episode and leave a lot of potential for the arcs of the 5th season.  

If the season premiere is an indication of where the season is going, here are some aspects of the show that I’m either looking forward to/or will have to suffer through: 

Dexter’s behavior:  It seems that with Rita’s death Dexter is becoming more human, as he puts it, and will become more in tune with his emotions.  How this affects his precision as a serial killer is yet to be seen; the struggle with the dichotomy of his personality will be the most interesting aspect of season 5.  

Deb’s involvement:  Chris doesn’t like Deb’s character but I see this being an opportunity for Jennifer Carpenter to shine this season.  They devoted a lot of time to her in the premiere and she was not nearly as annoying as she was in season 4.  Season 4 ended with her realizing that Dexter is related to the Ice Truck Killer from Season 1, and with the events surrounding Dexter in this season it would be a disservice to the audience to abandon that now.  How will Deb cope with the suspicions surrounding Dexter (even her own) while supporting him during his grief and suspicion? 

Dexter v. Quinn & the F.B.I.:  I think Dexter is at its best when the titular character is on the run.  I enjoyed season 2 a lot when the police were looking for the Bay Harbor Butcher; I think with Dexter trying to dodge suspicion, deal with his emotions, and the added responsibility of not having Rita there is a lot of potential for strong stories and character development in season 5.  While Chris becomes annoyed with Deb’s character, I become increasingly annoyed with Quinn.  “Doakes 2.0” is not as memorable a character, and the performances by Desmond Harrington are not as strong as others on the show.  Added to that the incredible weight loss that Chris mentioned and now he looks like Christian Bale from The Machinist doing blue steel in Hammer pants. 

Also, neither of them are very good eugoogoolizers.

Aster & Cody:  In Greek mythology there was a serpent of the sea called the Hydra.  The hydra had many heads and if you were to cut off a head of the beast two grew back in its place.  In season 4 Dexter cut off the head of one of its principal supporting characters, Rita.  Rita was my least favorite character on the show, though necessary for Dexter’s development, and I wasn’t too upset to see her go.  However, two even more annoying characters may get more screen time in her place, her kids.  It seems like their sole purpose on the show is to test Dexter’s patience as a father, show how sensible he can be in his disguise as a family man, and wine (mostly the latter).  Not a lot of time was spent on them in the premiere and I hope it remains that way for the rest of the season. 

Seen above: Dexter or Clash of the Titans 2?

I think Dexter is on the downhill toward a series finale, maybe not in this season but I don’t see the show lasting more than 7 seasons (ideally 6).  The stories will be fresh with new arcs this season, but after that it will be hard to not make it too contrived.  Also, the writers seem to be losing a little bit of the reality of the show.  No spoiler here, but Dexter killed a man in the premiere; however, he did it with such disregard for caution that I don’t see how the writers can just ignore that scene from here on out without losing credibility with the audience.  

Overall I think this episode was full of solid performances and great set-up for the season, it just lacked a little of the pop I was looking for after a great season finale.  

*** out of 4 stars.